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These warm thoughts of you are the worst I've ever had

from How To Kill One And Yourself by SO//CAN//X

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lyrics

You're standing in a bucket of ice, and you look down and there's no bucket, but you're body is still shivering.
You panic every winter, because when that sun goes down it's not coming back up.

You'll have to climb over the horizon and put it back up in the sky yourself.
Do you have to do this every year?
Do you want to do this every year?
Maybe you shouldn't look down and see that there's no bucket down there.
Maybe you shouldn't put the sun back up there.
Maybe you should sit there with cold feet in the dark and wait until your toes fall off.

A day is a very long thing.
A day is an incredibly long thing.

Everything I know about you is in my chest and my legs,
stuck there, covered in meat and blood.
Trying to decipher morse code in my adrenaline as it flows by.
I don't know what any of these words mean but I know they're the worst I've ever said.
I don't know what these three words mean but I know they're the worst I've ever said.
These warm thoughts of you are the worst I've ever had.

I wish I was dreaming.
I feel your hand on mine and I wish I was dreaming.
We were just a damp pile of entrails,
And although we both sit here with open bodies leaking, we mustn't let this scare us from love.
Although our fists are bloodied, we must not let this scare us from each other.

You're not standing in a bucket,
But you're body is shaking.

Your body is cold.
Your body is shaking.

credits

from How To Kill One And Yourself, released September 8, 2020

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SO//CAN//X London, UK

Musician/Digital Artist based in London, UK

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